… that’s how much time has passed between the two photos. Oh, don’t think this is a funeral oration. Quite the opposite – it’s a celebration of LIFE.
When the montage was finished, my daughter and her friends were right there with me, and even they were surprised – the same look, the same smile, the same hope and trust in the future. But where does it come from?
They say that we, as women, are beautiful when we shine from within. We think that this happens automatically, and the handsome prince on a white horse will come and save us… mostly from ourselves.
The bad news is – that he won’t come, but the good news is – that we can still “save ourselves”, but only through ourselves. No one does this work for us. We can wait for the prince or for the world … We can become victims of everything, but at the end of the day, we have to make a decision. Do we do it or not? Do we change or stay the same? Do we control our lives or let others control us? Do we live our own lives or follow what our environment imposes on us? Do we remain victims or become heroines of our own story?
The situation is this: until about age 40, the body compensates, trying to hold itself together. Everything that is going on in our soul isn’t really visible from the outside. We are still quite excellent at hiding the real situation – to be honest, not only from the world, but also from ourselves.
After the age of 40, however, this becomes less and less possible, and around age 50, the shit can kick in. (Sorry, I sometimes use harsh words. Especially when it matters.) And if we don’t change even then, by around 56 +/-, the facade starts crumbling. Around 40, only minor health issues might appear, but after 50, the physical signs begin to multiply. Because the body never lies – the only question is, do we listen to it?
But who is the one who starts knocking on consciousness' door around the age 40, and if nothing happens, starts banging on it wildly after age 50? Well, it’s the little child living inside us. The one who, back in the day, immersed in the game and built her sandcastle and didn’t care if it was kicked over, because the next one was even more beautiful – with more towers and even a moat added. The one who learned to ride a bike with a broken hand, climbed trees. The one who talked to the flowers, and had butterflies land on her hands, the one who constructed a moon rocket and bravely fought the seven-headed dragon with death-defying courage. So, that’s our creativity. If you know Tarot cards, it’s the “Fool,” who is always able to get up and start anew, implements ideas even if those around her call her crazy.
In 2018, at age 49, I embarked on a new adventure, and these two photos are a milestone of that. I said “Yes” to myself and to the little girl living within. That was the starting point. From there, the hard work began, and it’s still ongoing –I start every day by sitting down, taking deep breaths, focusing on myself, and repeating my mantra. I take care of my body – paying attention to my diet, eating quality food, and doing yoga several times a week. Regardless of what happened that day, I am grateful for each one – I reflect on what was good and what I learned, and I do things differently the next day. I’ve learned not to walk “the same streets,” and like an Aikido practitioner, I dodge unnecessary conflicts.
So, after 54 years and now 5 months, we’re doing well. The little girl inside me can count on me, I listen to her, and I love bringing her ideas to life. And what’s the cherry on top? She also loves coffee, and from time to time, we treat ourselves to a cream cake or a pistachio-mixed berry cheesecake.
P.S.: Dear Ladies, remember! A woman shines when she radiates from within! Ask the little girl who lives inside you what she needs. What does she want to do? And please listen to her intently!